After the relatioship
workshop blew up into my face and going to a same festival with this
person was no longer an option, plans had to change again. Tribal
gathering in Panama was swapped into Envision in Costa Rica, and
after crying tears of desperation on the airport after they tried to
make me pay 300 $ for checking in my bags only until Costa Rica and
not Panama like my ticket stated (the flight went via Costa Rica, so
in my mind it would have made total sense to just cancel the
connecting flight and check the bags to CR, but apparently not), I
managed to get myself and my bags into CR with only 15 $ less to my
name. Mental note, never expect airlines to follow logic. Mental note
2, crying always helps. So I did Envision as a road trip with a
couple of lovely Florida girls whom I found on the carpooling site.
The festival was lovely, but I was still reeling from my relationship
crash and was somewhat distracted the whole time. But it was so so
lovely to be warm again after the coolness of high altitude San
Marcos. And there were beautiful people and wonderful food, so I was
happy.
As I hadn't really "done" that much during my time in SM ("intensely being" was
the term I used when people asked me what I'd been up to during my
three months there), I had booked my Costa Rica month full of things.
Envision was followed by Forest dance, an amazing conscious gathering
where we danced and made music around the sacred fire for 3 nights
and filled our days with workshops and lounging in hammocks or taking
dips in the river. I was nursing a cold and battling with my demons
of unworthiness which made me keep to myself a lot and retreat to my
cancer mode of being the outsider, observer, not feeling like I
fit in. I did make a couple of lovely connections when I finally felt
brave enough to expose how I really felt, and the nightly rituals
were powerful, so it was definitely a worthwhile experience in the
end. I will never forget the last night when we danced till sunrise
and spooked a pair of toucans from their tree as we hit the last
beats on the drum, followed by a victorious cry of pure energy,
togetherness and belonging. Those tribal moments are infinitely
important for me and this was no exception. So much gratitude for my
life and the universe that leads me to such places!
The next stop was
volunteering at the Women's equinox gathering at the lovely Finca
Amrta near Tinamastes in the middle of Costa Rican jungle. By then my
social batteries were totally empty, and I welcomed my work
contribution as a respite from having to actually take part in the
program. I was in the kitchen a lot, read, decorated the place and
tried to not feel like I was wasting a chance to make new
friendships. But by now I had become much more comfortable and
accepting of this side of me, this somewhat introverted Patience who
just needed her own time and space. So it was good practice in
listening to myself and not pushing myself to do or be more than it
felt good to do. And I did make a couple of lovely connections as well, plus enjoyed so much spending time on Suzanne's amazing Finca. Well done, me!
I did have some time
to just be and relax between all the workshops as well. I explored
some of Dominical and Uvita and stayed a couple of lovely days in
Posada Natura. My last CR adventure was a stay in Pachamama, a
beautiful although quite expensive retreat center in the Nosara
peninsula. I participated in a mindblowing White night ritual and
took a body detox program which I can only highly recommend. I'd been
wanting to do a fast or a detox for a while but what with my health
history and trust issues with health practitioners, I had not felt
comfortable enough to dive into that just yet. The team in Pachamama
was so knowledgeable and the program so well done, that I felt really
safe and supported, and it was not nearly as taxing or exhausting as
I would have thought. I left Pachamama much lighter, in body and
spirit, and am really grateful for everything I experienced there.
And for the raw chocolates in the Wild treats bar. Oh so much yum <3
All in all, Costa Rica
was lovely, although it makes me a little sad how much it is a
playground and an amusement park for the rich Americans, which makes
the prices skyrocket. But the nature was gorgeous, the fruit
absolutely heavenly, public transport easy and affordable. And the
biggest plus: you could drink tap water without dying or getting an
interesting array of unwanted intestinal company. It took me a week
of being there to stop cringing every time I filled my bottle from
the tap. San Marcos habits die hard ;). In Costa Rica I also had my first experiences with the more powerful plant medicines, which opened yet another gateway into remembering the love we ultimately all are and the connection or sameness of us all. I can never thank these medicines enough for their lessons and for letting me dive deeper into the divinity of myself and the universe.
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